Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Falling into Temptation (Part 2)

One thing I do when I mess up is I trace it back to an experience that can cultivate the need for the desired object that will have adverse effects.  I’ve been eating a lot of different white flour products since my miscarriage.  Even though I have health issues that white flour is certainly not helping, I had this desire to eat something that made me happy after feeling so awful for so long.  I want to build my body up again so that I can get pregnant and have a healthy baby.  I have a picture (from the ultrasound) of my Sweet Pea, or the baby we lost, that I look at when I'm missing her.  I will always love and remember her, but there isn’t a wonton, stromboli, or Red Lobster biscuit in the world that will deliver me from the pain of losing her. It’s been at least a month now, so I believe it’s time to stop hiding behind that excuse.  It’s time to heal and move on.

The next step is to make some decisions that will help me make better choices.  I told my husband that I don’t want to go back to that restaurant for a while.  They have better choices of food, but if I am so weak right now that I will make poor choices when I go there it is probably best not to go again until I'm stronger. 

Falling into temptation doesn't have to be about something that is traumatic.  Sometimes it’s just force of poor habits.  Sometimes it's force of peer pressure.  Sometimes it is the power of all of the above hitting you at once.  Temptation can be very powerful, but when we say “no” that is when we regain power.

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