“I love the article; the advice and the questions are very empowering. I would rephrase the 3rd question to something like, "How can you envision...” instead of "can." "Can" may lead to a misconception that I cannot change, therefore I won't change. But of course that is absurd, since we have the free will to create any change in our lives; sometimes it may take a while to condition ourselves to a new habit, but we all can change if we really WANT to.”
I LOVE the points that this reader made. He made several good points. First, YES WE DO have the free will to create any change in our lives; I agree with the reader completely on this point. On the other hand, you are also very correct in implying that some people are so convinced that they can’t change that they won’t change or they will take a VERY long time to change and/or they will need a ton of help in order to change. You are also correct in implying the power of our words. In my experience with counseling, counselors must word things very carefully. Words like “try”, for example, can lead the student or client to a misconception that they don’t have to if it’s too hard. This is a cultural phenomenon and America happens to be one of the cultures where this is prevalent. I would never willfully tell a student or client to “try” to do anything. When students or clients say “I will try to…” I correct them with “I intend to…” or “I will…” or words that offer more motivation and/or empowerment.
The point that was made about the wording is the most powerful and provocative because it is so true and it is fertile ground for a variety of discussions. Please be sure to read the post that follows this one, for I will elaborate on some of the topics of discussion that can come of the reader's point that words have power.
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