Thursday, February 17, 2011

Empowerment and Resistance II

Resistance is natural when you are making changes.  You will experience resistance from every which where.  You will experience resistance from yourself, from your families and from your friends.  This is just fear of being outside a comfort zone surfacing in yourself and everyone around you.  This is perfectly normal; in fact, it is to be expected.

I still face resistance to changes that I’ve already made in my life at times.  Family members will voice the excuses that they live by and try to get me to bend a little because it is easier for them to hang out with me if I give in.  But it is easier for me to say no to many things because I’m in a new comfort zone and backsliding into old habits would be even more uncomfortable for me.  I’ve claimed power over the resistance in my own head; it often doesn’t even feel like resistance as much as a mild temptation. 

I created a comfort in saying "no".  Make no mistake, saying "no" is a skill.  When two year olds learn to say "no", it’s like the greatest thing in the world because all of a sudden they have this new POWER.  They can make a CHOICE and it makes the world a whole new place.  They also learn that sometimes saying "no" has consequences.  This is ingrained in every one of us.  Saying "no" sometimes has negative consequences.  Now, I’m not saying that you are ruining your two year old by setting boundaries; I am saying that when we get older we have to reclaim the power that we have over our own destinies.  I am a recovered people pleaser; I know all about finding the courage to say "no".  I can tell you now; if you are anything like me you're probably find  saying "no" to be FRIGHTENING.  In that particular respect, I'm finally in a place beyond resistance because when I need to say "no" I'll say it.  Because of that and many other babysteps that I have taken over the years, I am finally in charge of my own future.

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